There are some things that you can only ever truly understand if you have lived it. If you are a teacher, there are some things that are unique (in more ways than one) to teaching.
I have put together a list of a few things that only teachers will understand.
1. It’s easier to just come to work than plan for a sub.
Sub plans are often more work than just coming in to work. The amount of time and detail it takes to try to explain to someone else how to keep our students alive while we are away is baffling, really. The allergies, the dietary needs, the small groups, the kids that have behavior needs-even the most basic sub plans require so much planning and detail. The worst is when we take the time to make the plans (usually while we and/or our entire family is throwing up) and then we don’t even get a sub. It’s usually not even worth the stress.
2. The amount of non-virus things that are instantly contagious.
If you have ever worked in a classroom, you learn quickly that the most contagious things are not usually viruses. The need for a drink of water, a tissue, or peeing. Sharpening pencils. A bandaid. It’s like dominos-one starts and the rest fall.
3. Having to ask “did you put your mouth on it” before opening a ketchup packet or a yogurt. They always say no, but you know they’re lying.
This one is self explanatory. They always say no. It’s always mysteriously wet.
4. Having the same Professional Developments over and over.
I can’t decide if the district just thinks we need repetition to understand concepts or if they really don’t realize how many times we have had the exact same professional developments, but by the third time, most of us could lead these PDs ourselves. Now that I think about it, how much are these trainers getting paid? Hmm…
5. When the insurance salesperson has set up in the break room for the day and we have to secretly meet up in someone’s classroom during lunch to avoid the painful, awkward small talk during the short few minutes we have each day to talk to adults and scarf down our food.
One of the most disappointing morning announcements is when we are told the life insurance salesman is here today and he will be setting up in our break room. Go see him on our planning. Excuse me, admin? First of all, do you know how precious those planning minutes are? Secondly, where are we going to eat lunch with our friends? Wait, he brought doughnuts? Okay, maybe we can spare a few minutes of our planning time.
6. We would rather eat a porcupine than call parents-especially when there is a message with zero context.
It’s usually something benign like, “Susie left her lunchbox in the cafeteria, would you mind reminding her to grab it?” but in our mind it’s “We are going to sue you and leave you homeless for giving our sweet baby a B on his spelling test.”
7. The parent notes specifying exactly why their kid missed school in detail
he had explosive diarrhea and it was coming out of both ends all night, so we thought it was best to keep him home.
A simple, “Billy wasn’t feeling well yesterday” would suffice.
8. That one student that never misses. You know exactly which one I’m talking about.
It never fails. Every year, it’s that student (the one we love, but also the one that exhausts us more than we knew humanly possible) that has perfect attendance. Every single time.
When we are trying to investigate an incident and have to pull out the “I hope you’re telling the truth because I’m going to check the cameras” and pointing to the WiFi router on the wall.
This is my favorite truth serum trick.
9. When a fly or a spider (or God forbid, a bee) gets in the room and everything turns into chaos.
Have these children ever seen the great outdoors? Have they ever once encountered an insect? You would think not by the chaotic chain reaction that occurs when an insect finds its way into our classroom. Thunder or lightning? Might as well call it a day because those students are not learning anything for the rest of the day.
10. The way the summer and school year versions of me are totally different people.
I don’t even recognize the version of me in the summer. That person is a complete stranger. That person is so refreshed, so free, so NICE. She actually has space to be a functioning human being.
These are just a few of the things that only teachers can truly appreciate and understand. If people could only spend a few days inside a classroom, they would see that teaching is one of the most nuanced and entertaining career choices that exists on this planet. Also, they’d probably petition for teachers to get an immediate raise.
Get first access to new posts and products. Subscribe below.
